I have been practicing Islam
for a while now and I want to insha-Allah embrace it
but there are serious problems that I am
encountering. My husband and I have been having
marital problems for a while now and even though
things are going alright I don't trust that it would
be like this forever because he has these violent
outbursts of rage and I have seriously considered
divorcing him after I was advised to do so by our
councilor.
The problem is that I don't love him anymore and
moreover he won't allow me to embrace Islam and he
refuses to embrace it as well. He said that we would
rather break up rather than me becoming Muslim. The
other problem is that I have two daughters who are
attending a Hindu School and what does the Sharia
say about what happens after I convert with regards
to my daughters. I have met a wonderful Muslim man
and we love each other very much and he asked me
twice already to marry him. I did not go to bed with
him and that is not our intention. We love each
other for who we are and he is willing to accept my
children if they convert as well. He said that he
will wait until the end of the year before he goes
on with his life because there are other women who
he can settle down with but I am his first
preference.
Please advice me and in English please because I do
not understand Arabic. I need to take action about
so many things, yet I feel guilty and I feel sorry
for my husband because he is trying to make our
marriage to work. Unfortunately the religion is a
big problem.
Your urgent help and co operation will be highly
appreciated.
Jazak Allah
Praise be to Allah
Your husband is preventing you from embracing Islam,
and does not want to become Muslim himself. He prefers
divorce to Islam, although you have tried to persuade
him of the truth to no avail. This means that this man
is no good. Moreover, you say that he is bad-tempered
and violent, that any improvement is only temporary,
and that you do not love him at all. If this man is as
you say, he is no good from either a religious or a
worldly point of view, and there is no use in staying
with him. Our advice to you in this case is to leave
him immediately, and try hard to gain custody of your
two daughters so that they may grow up in Islam.
According to Islamic sharee’ah, in such cases custody
should be awarded to the Muslim parent, because Islam
should prevail, not be prevailed over.
As regards the second part of your question, and this
man whom you say is a Muslim, you must make sure that
he is a chaste man, not one who is immoral or corrupt.
Do not establish any relationship with him before
marriage. If you find out for sure that he is chaste
and solidly religious, I advise you to marry him as
soon as your ‘iddah (waiting period after divorce) is
over. I ask Allah to take care of you by His mercy, to
make the right thing easy for you, to help you enter
this religion and to save you from kufr and its
followers. Remember the story of Pharaoh’s wife, who
was Muslim although her husband was a kaafir. Allah
said about her (interpretation of the meaning):
"And Allah sets forth an example for those who
believe, the wife of Pharaoh, when she said: ‘My Lord!
Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me
from Pharaoh and his work, and save me from the people
who are zaalimoon (polytheists, wrong-doers and
disbelievers in Allah).’" [al-Tahreem 66:11]
